JELLIED MOOSE NOSE

"Filler". This is what this blog is. This is something that Lotus suggested to me some months ago when I had not blogged in awhile. "You need filler," she told me. I've considered this for some time now. Although I do like to pontificate and write my own rants and raves and topics, sometimes they are far and in between. So in between time and in the meantime, what better way to fill the void than with even more trivial trivia.

So, since Ronin's Rectal is beginning to get "creepy" for Lotus, let this particular (lazy) blog serve as "filler". As for Ronin displaying his rack on the net for all to see, let's wait a few years for the sagging to kick in. Let's wait and see if Ronin's chest starts looking like breasts. [Or do they already?]

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In 1967, the Canadian government published a collection of backwoods recipes from native and non-native peoples in the nation's far north. It's now out-of-print, but here are a few highlights. And if ever you find a copy of The Northern Cookbook, grab it - it's a classic.

MUSKRAT TAILS - Cut off the tails and dip them into very hot water. Pull off the fur. Either cook them on top of the stove, turning them after a few minutes, or boil them. (This is the same method as for beaver tails. Both are very sticky to eat.)

STUFFED MUSKRAT - Clean the rats well and put them in a roaster with bread stuffing on top. Roast until the muskrats are soft.

BOILED PORCUPINE - Make a fire outside and put the porcupine in it to burn off the quills. Wash and clean well. Cut up and boil until done.

GRIZZLY BEAR STEAKS - Cut up meat as for frying and fry in deep grease in frying pan.

BEAR FAT PASTRY - 1-1/2 cups flour, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1/3 cup bear fat (from a little black bear that was eating berries). Makes rich white pastry.

MUKTUK (meat inside skin and fat of a whale) - After taken from whale leave 2 days hanging up to dry. Cut into 6" x 6" pieces. Cook until tender. Keep in a cool place in a 45-gallon drum of oil, in order to have muktuk all year.

OVEN-ROASTED LYNX - Wash and clean the hind legs of the lynx and roast it with lard and a little water.

BOILED LYNX - Cut up the lynx and boil it until it is soft and well cooked. Good to eat with muktuk.

STEAMED MUSKRAT LEGS - Cut off the muskrat's legs, dip in a bowl of flour with salt, pepper, and other strong seasoning. Put grease into a large frying pan. Put in the muskrat legs. Cover and cook for a long time as they take long to become tender. The strong seasoning takes away the actual taste of the muskrat.

BOILED REINDEER HEAD - Skin and wash the head well. Then chop it in quarters, splitting it between the eyes with an axe. Cover with cold water and boil until soft. One can also roast in an open pan in an oven very slowly.

BOILED REINDEER OR CARIBOU HOOFS - Put hoofs (skin still on them) in a large pot. Cover and boil for a couple of hours. The skin will peel off easily. The muscles are soft and very good to eat. The toe nails also have some soft sweet meat inside them.

BOILED SMOKED BEAVER - Smoke the beaver for a day or so. Cut up the meat and boil it with salted water until done.

FROZEN FISH EGGS - Take fish eggs out and freeze them. They are good to eat like this.

BOILED BONE GREASE - Boil whatever bones are left after all the meat has been cut off. Boil them all in a big pot for two hours. Then let the grease get cold in the pot. It is easy to pick the grease off. Keep the grease to eat with dry meat or add to pounded meat.

BOILED REINDEER TONGUES - Boil tongues until thoroughly cooked. Potatoes and vegetables are good with this.

DRY FISH PUDDING - Pound up 5 to 6 dry fish. Throw away skin. Add sugar, a little grease, and cranberries.

JELLIED MOOSE NOSE - Cut the upper jaw bone of the moose just below the eyes. Boil in a large kettle for 45 minutes. Remove and chill. Pull out all the hairs (like plucking a duck) and wash until none remain. Place nose in a kettle and cover with fresh water. Add onion, garlic, spices, and vinegar. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer until meat is tender. Let cool overnight. When cool, discard the bones a cartilage. You will have white meat from the bulb of the nose and dark meat from the bones and jowls. Slice thinly and alternate layers of white and dark meat in a loaf pan. Let cool until jelly has set. Slice and serve cold.

BAKED SKUNK - Clean, skin, wash. Bake in oven with salt and pepper. Tastes like rabbit (no smell).
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SOURCE: Uncle John's Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader by the Bathroom Reader's Institute. [From the section titled "Jellied Moose Nose", pp. 296-297]. ISBN: 1-59223-270-1

I really wish they had colored pictures of this stuff. The stuffed muskrat actually sounds pretty good...