SCREGMAN SAYS...

THIS IS MY GAME... SUCKING THE MARROW FROM THE BONES OF LIFE... ONE BONE AT A TIME...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

26 SECONDS...


6:23PM, SUNDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2006

-RING- -RING- -RING-

Ronin unclipped his cel phone from its holder, flipped it open and looked at the information for the incoming call. He didn't recognize the phone number, but decided to answer it. He pressed the 'SEND" button and brought the phone to his ear.

RONIN: Hello?

INCOMING CALLER: Hello?

RONIN: Hello?

INCOMING CALL: Hello?

RONIN: Helloooooo?

INCOMING (Starting to sound aggressive): Who's this?

RONIN (Composed): Who's this?

INCOMING (Even more aggressive): Who the F--K is this?!

RONIN (Still composed): I think you've got the wrong number. Who were you trying to call?

INCOMING (By now, really aggressive): I was trying to call my girlfriend, FOOL!!

RONIN (Extremely composed): I think you've got the wrong number. What number did you dial?

INCOMING (Trying to sound like a bad ass gangsta type): I dialed THIS number, FOOL!! WHO THE F--K IS THIS?!

RONIN (Extremely unimpressed and no longer amused): Yeah, you've got the wrong number...

Ronin closed the flap on his phone to end the call.

The call lasted 26 seconds according to cel phone record. 26 seconds of my life that I can never get back because of a sorry excuse for a human being. I don't mind wasting my own time, but I can't stand my time being wasted by other people, especially pathetic bullies. 26 seconds down the drain...

By the tone of his voice, I wouldn't be surprised if he beats his girlfriend, is a rapist, or a child molester.

Funny thing... Whatever phone this punkass was calling from, the number wasn't protected. In fact, this is it: 818-653-2051. Can anyone tell me the area code? If it were a local number, I would delight in calling and tormenting this cowardly SOB. I say cowardly because it's so easy to be "brave and fierce" over the phone. [HMMMMMM..... Did I just say I'D call and torment HIM? Guess that makes me a coward, too.]

Did I get angry? Not really. It was more like 'The nerve of this monkey-ass loser...'


Forgiving and forgetting does not come easy to Ronin. [If you believe in God, forgiving is God's job, not mine.] Wishing hateful shit comes much easier. So, to the person who called me:

For taking away 26 seconds of my life... I WISH GANG-RAPE ON YOU, ASSHOLE... I WISH CANCER ON YOU... I WISH AIDS ON YOU...

Too harsh? Not in Ronin's world. In Ronin's world, not ALL life is sacred. Ronin believes there are monsters disguised as humans.

Ronin believes this caller was one such monster...



30 Comments:

  • At 4:53 PM, October 25, 2006, Blogger HotFudge said…

    Now that you've posted his number on the web you can have others torment him.

     
  • At 9:16 PM, October 25, 2006, Blogger mikshir said…

    The cell phone companies are a worse waster of time. When you get an diverted to the voicemail it goes into what seems like a minute long soliloquy before culminating in the "to leave a message, please stay on the line... pause... beep". And by then you have to pay an extra minute for the missed call. It's a ploy I tell you.

     
  • At 9:56 PM, October 25, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Okay, the 818 area code covers the San Fernando Valley in LA, the famous "Valley".

    btw, sorry for calling you from my company cell phone and pranking you, please take your hex off me...

     
  • At 9:57 PM, October 25, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 10:23 PM, October 25, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Damn Ronin, I think I might need to drag your angry ass to lunch time meditation at the Vajrarupini Center. It's close to your work...

    Just kidding :) Don't hurt me.....

     
  • At 5:15 AM, October 26, 2006, Blogger Kilatzin said…

    lotus beat me to my joke.

     
  • At 6:45 PM, October 26, 2006, Blogger caninecologne said…

    according to my friend, Wikipedia:


    "Area code 818 is a California telephone area code consisting largely of the San Fernando Valley, in the Greater Los Angeles Area. It covers roughly 2 million people."

    so...you have many choices of assholes to choose from...being that it came from the valley, it's probably someone related tot he porno industry.

    let's crank call this dude! : )

    personally, i would have just hung up on his sorry ass. i do that to telemarketers during the RARE times that i actually answer the phone. you guys all know that we screen. if there's more than 2 seconds of silence, i know it's a telemarketing vermin and hang up on them. hey, i'm saving those fkrs some time and mine too!

    oh wait, i didn't scee until i scrolled down that lotus responded to what '818' was....d'oh!

     
  • At 4:53 AM, October 27, 2006, Blogger Mulysa said…

    i hereby FORBID you to tell my children bedtime stories...

    even when they are grown up...

     
  • At 7:30 AM, October 27, 2006, Blogger bert wolfe said…

    I sensed a little anger in this blog. Maybe you should take a deep breath and count slowly to ten... (or perhaps a thousand)

     
  • At 10:38 AM, October 27, 2006, Blogger Kilatzin said…

    i remember when a compatriot of ours . . . oh let's just call him "grandee" attempted a crank call on me posing as a telemarketer pushing Playboy magazine subscriptions. I listened to his spiel and calmly told him, "I'm not interested, but thank you so much for calling" and slammed down the receiver before he could say another word.

    "grandee" was impressed by the way I handled him.

     
  • At 12:27 PM, October 27, 2006, Blogger mikshir said…

    @kil -- wow, you passed grandee's "not a lech" test. i'm impressed too.

     
  • At 10:16 PM, October 27, 2006, Blogger caninecologne said…

    grandee


    aka mr. saliva


    well did you know our other friend, let's call him Myko ordered a damn pizza when all those fools worked at pizza hut back in high school...it came to the door and my mom went ballistic on the dumbass pizza deliverer...

    i found out several years later that MYKO was the one who called...fkr...

     
  • At 8:40 AM, October 28, 2006, Blogger Thor said…

    Well through the power of the internet, we can additionally find out that the number is a cingular or AT&T wireless number...

    But for only 14.95 my friend you can find out his name and address and get your car jacked when you enter his neighborhood.

    But... he may just give the car back when he realizes he has to crank the windows to open them and that the in-dash phonograpgh is busted.

     
  • At 11:01 PM, October 28, 2006, Blogger HotFudge said…

    Canine,
    Speaking of Pizza Hut I recall a story from Screg that someone in the group pissed on an irate customer's Pizza. Screg has kept his oath of not telling me who that person was.

     
  • At 11:22 PM, October 28, 2006, Blogger bert wolfe said…

    HotFudge, your man is pretty good about keeping his oaths (or is it oathes?). He's also pretty good about keeping a grudge. I think he may still have something against "Dan Clemens" on an incident that happened back in 1984.

     
  • At 6:53 AM, October 29, 2006, Blogger Mulysa said…

    I know who hath pisseth on the bells peppers, hot fudge...

    hint:
    he was neither of the two who was arrested for breaking and entering that very same pizza hut.

     
  • At 1:58 PM, October 29, 2006, Blogger caninecologne said…

    are you sure it wasn't lowery?

     
  • At 7:48 PM, October 29, 2006, Blogger Mulysa said…

    nope, sure wasn't. 'twas mr ASB pres. himself...

     
  • At 7:51 PM, October 29, 2006, Blogger mikshir said…

    didn't shogun also work at this alleged pizza hut around the same time? my memory is fuzzy.

     
  • At 8:29 PM, October 30, 2006, Blogger caninecologne said…

    mr asb president? mr agua dulce english lead singer? the one who's going to plan our high school reunion next year??? ugh!!! and i could have sworn it was our arsonist friend...aka felon.

    i thought shogun worked at the san ysidro mcdonalds, but this is not the one where that guy went psycho and shot up the customers, workers, and himself back in '94. shogun? confirm?

     
  • At 9:15 AM, October 31, 2006, Blogger HotFudge said…

    Thanks for the hint Mulysa.

    I was going to go through Screg's yearbooks to find out who this person was but it looks like Canine beat me to the punch.

    Canine, with your hint of "Mr Agua Dulce", at first I thought "Who the hell is that?", but now I remember and know that this person has the same name as a Volcano.

    I never suspect that person, but I can see him doing something like that. I was way off clue of who I originally thought it was.

    Bert, an incident that happened back in '84 with Clemens; hmmm, I'll have to ask Screg about that.

     
  • At 11:41 AM, November 03, 2006, Blogger mikshir said…

    @canine -- me and chester also worked at that mcd's. it was relatively short lived. i think jabba was working at the pizza hut and the rest of the gang went there too, eh?

     
  • At 3:22 PM, November 03, 2006, Blogger caninecologne said…

    thane - chester?

     
  • At 11:26 PM, November 03, 2006, Blogger Mulysa said…

    you gotta be shitting me...

     
  • At 3:36 PM, November 04, 2006, Blogger caninecologne said…

    i meant, thane, who is chester? not that thane IS chester.

    who the hell is chester?

     
  • At 8:25 PM, November 04, 2006, Blogger mikshir said…

    @canine: har! i guess it's a bit of an old name that was floating around long ago, i think i first heard it from gin... insert "ild mo" after the "ch" to complete the clue.

     
  • At 9:24 PM, November 04, 2006, Blogger caninecologne said…

    thane
    i know what a 'chester' is, but who are you referring to? another person that shares your first name but with another initial? hint?

     
  • At 9:13 PM, November 05, 2006, Blogger mikshir said…

    argh! so so sorry! a college student we knew who was (jail bait) dating someone in junior high whom we now know...

     
  • At 7:42 PM, November 06, 2006, Blogger caninecologne said…

    okayyyy...that's who i thought it was but i wasn't sure. plus i didn't want to offend anyone by mentioning it. sorryf or being dense.

     
  • At 8:58 PM, November 06, 2006, Blogger Mulysa said…

    "that was i" said the fly.
    on the wall in the stall
    as his eyes looked 'round
    listening in on every sound.

     

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