FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH...

I haven't forgotten about Thor's request to continue my "Tour of Italy 2006" series. I shall return to it soon enough. But for now... Does anybody out there collect money...? Let me be more specific. Over the years, I've collected the following kinds of money:

* The two-dollar bill. I've got quite a few of these and everytime one of them crosses my path, I add it to my collection. [I can't help but recall a comedian saying he'd collected the two-dollar bill years ago. "And you know how much each is worth now?" he asked. "Twooooooooooooooooooo dollars..."]

* The Susan B. Anthony dollar coin. If I'm not mistaken, it's the same size as the quarter, so there was some confusion there.

* 50 cent coins.

* The Sacagawea dollar coin.

* Independence quarters. Or is the correct name "Bicentennial" quarters. The ones that have 1776-1976 on the front and a guy with a drum on the back.

* Any coin dated 1969 or before. 1969 isn't totally arbitrary (or maybe it is). It happens to be the year I was born. So, when my spare change starts growing, I spread it all out and look for coins dated 1969 or before. I've got a few pennies from the 1930's & 1940's.

I don't know how much I've accumulated, but I've been doing this for years. I suppose I could do some serious research with some of my older coins. Dare I hope that the two-dollar bill will be worth more than $2.00? What are the chances of one of my older pennies being worth hundreds of dollars? And what about the more current stuff? Should I hold on to everything in the hopes that it'll all be worth something more in the future?

- OOOOOOOORRRRRRRR -

Should I just deposit everything and let it earn interest and hope that I'm not screwing myself (with my pants on) by parting with something that might be worth a lot more in the future?

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I know there is a class of people out there who stuff their mattresses with money because they don't trust the banking system. Or maybe they've got gold bars, just in case the U.S. dollar plummets.

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If you see a penny on the ground, will you pick it up? How about a nickel? A dime? A quarter?

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Do you neatly fold your money into your wallet/purse/pocket after a cash transaction? Or do you just crumple everything together and sift through it all later, separating the cash from the half-used tissue paper and receipt(s) and pocket lint?

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If you're paying in cash (e.g. for fast food), would you take the time to give exact change? Or do you just give the cashier the traditional $20.00 and then dump your change in your pocket/purse?

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I once won 1,000 nickels in Las Vegas.

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Is there anybody out there who deals more in plastic rather than hard currency? [I transact mostly with plastic myself, but I still carry some cash at all times.]

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Don't forget to put two obolus on my eyes when I'm gone so I can pay Charon...

CHAIN OF EVENTS...

The current piece of music I keep repeating in my car and in my portable player is "Pompeii" by E.S. Posthumus, off their album "Unearthed". [I'm too lazy to put any links, but if you do a search, I'm sure you can find a sample of their work.]

It got me thinking how I actually found E.S. Posthumus...

Of course, I could start on the day I was born and trace significant events up to the point I first heard "Pompeii"... Or maybe I could start when my parents first met...

NOT!

So I'll start with A-ha. A-ha [for those of you who don't know] was one of those "one-hit-wonders" from the 80's. In my opinion, it was their video for "Take On Me" that made them a hit. I just love that video. [I would love to get my hands on a clear DVD version of that video.] So one day, I did a Google search for the video. My search led me to youtube.com. Now, you can call me a caveman if you want. I always knew youtube.com existed, but I didn't really know what it was all about. After browsing this site for the past few days, I've seen some really cool, kick-ass things, and other things that lead me to believe that there are tons and tons and tons of people out there with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands. Needless to say, I did find the video for "Take On Me", and have been enjoying it whenever the urge hits me.

A few days ago, I did a search for "Shaolin Soccer" on youtube. I own the DVD, but hadn't seen it in awhile. I wanted to see if anyone had uploaded the soccer scenes. And, of course, many people had. [Nothing is too trivial for the Net.] I clicked on one, and was very pleasantly surprised when I realized the sound had been replaced by what I found to be a really kick-ass piece of music. I was totally blown away. Luckily, in the comment section, someone had already asked about the music. The response: E.S. Postuhumus-Pompeii.

I immediately did a search on Google and determined that E.S. Posthumus was the name of the group, and Pompeii was the name of the piece. I then went to my SonyConnect account and searched for it. Oh the joy. They had the track. I listened to the samples of the other tracks on the album and decided to get the whole thing. It's one of the best albums I've heard in awhile. Some might call it a mix between rock & classical. I don't know... I just like the way their stuff sounds.

I've run across some really good "home-made" videos on youtube that use Pompeii, ranging from spliced together clips of the lightsabre duels from the final Star Wars movie to Asajj Ventress vs. Anakin Skywalker to the new Battlestar Galactica to Final Fantasy.

From a video by A-ha to youtube.com to Shaolin Soccer to Pompeii by E.S. Posthumus.

What will be the next link...?

JUST MUSING...

Greetings faithful readers...

The first blog of the New Year, albeit, I don't consider this year really "new" anymore. When does the New Year cease to be the "new" year? After one week? After two? Something to pontificate about later...

I thought about the old year and the new year and how I wanted to do a summary of 2006, etc, etc... BLAH!!!

New Year's resolutions? BLAH!!!

Sooooooo... Instead of looking into the future, let me touch upon all the grandiose plans I had over the holidays.

My vacation was from Dec. 23, 2006 thru Jan 1, 2007. That's 10 days, that's 240 hrs, that's 14,400 minutes. Of course, with any vacation, [even a three day weekend], I find myself making plans to get things done (eg get rid of clothes I'll never wear again, go thru old boxes, in other words, the never ending battle to truly get organized).

HotFudge and I hosted New Year's, so we did accomplish getting our home cleaned up. [Nothing like a gathering to give one's idle body that extra push to get things done.]

But what did I fail at? During Spain 2005 and Italy 2006, HotFudge and I had exchanged contact info with some of the other travellers we'd met during our trips. I'd wanted to e-mail these people... just to give them a quick greeting. This I failed at. How sad is that? This isn't snail mail. This isn't the "old days" where I'd have to handwrite a letter, fold that letter into an envelope, and mail it. This is typing and pressing "send" from the comfort of my own home (or office). My failure is particularly irksome because one of the couples from the Italy trip are seniors. They are wonderful people who really made an impression on HotFudge and me. [Hopefully I will introduce them to you via my blogging about Italy in the near future.] Another person was kind enough to send a DVD of one of our dinners where I was an unwilling participant. I received the DVD months ago, but have yet to send her a "thank-you".

-SIGH-

And now January 2007 is ALREADY half over.

The Spring 2007 semester is just around the corner.

November 22, 2006 was my 100th capoeira lesson. I went thru my 122nd lesson as of last night (Wed. Jan. 17, 2007). [I'm such a geek for keeping track...]

I'm still a die-hard minidisc fan, but look forward to watching the progress of flash memory...

I don't think HotFudge or I will ever do dinner theatre again... HORRIBLE... ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE...

I wonder what's worse, the stench of decaying bodies, burning hair, the bowel movement following the consumption of a carne asada burrito AND chili-cheese fries AND rolled tacos AND a pint of Crisco Oil, or limburger cheese...

I really like lycra...

Acai (pronounced "AHH-SIGH-EE") is da bomb. [One day HotFudge was at Trader Joe's looking for some acai. One of the workers told her it's pronounced "AH-KAI". HotFudge chose not to correct her.]

Until next time...

Love, peace, and lumpia grease...

THE TROUBLE WITH BB

Lunch should be a pleasurable experience. A time to feed the body, to relax, to reflect, to nap, to get away from the office...

HotFudge and I have a co-worker. I shall call it BB. More than a few months ago (or has it been at least one year? Perhaps HotFudge remembers that fateful day...) BB was eating its lunch. HotFudge was preparing to sit at a separate table when BB waved her over... And that's when it all started...

Eating with BB wasn't bad. We'd chat, laugh, talk smack about other offices around campus, etc. Now, months down the line, it seems we've become BB's lunch partners. Of course, we're not the only ones. Others have also eaten with BB. But it seems we are now "expected" [dare I say "required"] to eat with BB.

I used to look forward to lunch. Now, my gut reaction is to curse when I'm approaching the lounge and I see HotFudge sitting with BB. Mind you, this isn't every single day. There are times when BB isn't there. But whenever BB is there, we end up eating with it. HotFudge and Ronin have grown tired of BB. Tired, I tell you. Without a doubt, lunch has become a dreaded event. BB is not an evil person, but we have grown weary of its company. It loves to talk about all the food it "knows" how to prepare, yet it always buys its lunch. [We always ask ourselves: "If BB's such a great cook, why doesn't it bring its lunch instead of always buying?"] HotFudge and I have been "wowed" by all its stories about how it cussed this person out or that person out. This past week, it told us about all these different medicines and drugs it mixed together in order to battle its cold. BB's in "the know".

Of course, I can eat lunch with HotFudge everyday. I have no problem with that because HotFudge is the one I'm going to grow old with. But the dynamic changes when we join BB. HotFudge and I can't talk about certain things. We feel obligated to keep the conversation going. Lately, I don't have much to say.

HotFudge recently succeeded in a daring break-away by sitting at another table. When BB tried to wave HotFudge over, HotFudge said she was sick and didn't want to spread it. [This isn't a lie. Poor HotFudge has been battling a cold/cough for a few weeks now.] So we had lunch without BB. BB already had two people sitting with it. But it still said from across the room: "I want you (HotFudge and Ronin) to know that we feel alienated over here." BB felt alienated even though it already had two people sitting with it? OH, PUH-LEEEEEEEEEZ...

THE CLENCHER
Ronin's office phone rang. The little screen on the phone said: "FACULTY DINING RM". Ronin picked up the phone. HotFudge's voice: "I'm in the student section".

So Ronin heated up his food and headed for the lounge. When he got there, what did he see? HotFudge sitting with BB.

"CON SARNIT!!!" Ronin thought. She (HotFudge) said she was in the student section. So how the hell did she end up with BB?

This is how: HotFudge couldn't find her cel phone to call me, so she went to the faculty section to use the phone. BB was already there and asked if we were going to be anti-social (again). The faculty area was prepped for some kind of event so HotFudge's response was: "I wasn't sure if we could sit in here." Being the good natured person that she is, though, HotFudge went back to the student area, gathered her things, and joined BB.

CON SARNIT!!!

What is it with people who can't do things by themselves? I know people who can't go shopping alone, who can't go to the doctor or dentist alone. Besides BB, I know of others who can't eat alone. Perhaps these people can't shit alone either. I understand that no man (or woman) is an island, but come on.

And now HotFudge and Ronin seem bound to be BB's lunch partners... forever...? If we start sitting away from BB, we run the risk of "offending" it, of being labelled "anti-social", perhaps even "stuck-up". "We're too good to eat with BB..."

This is utter bull. And using a term like "anti-social" to guilt us into joining BB is rude, childish, selfish, and immature, not to mention stupid. [Ronin despises people who use "guilt" tactics.]

And now it feels like the only solution is to completely avoid the lounge area just to avoid BB. How sad is that? Why should HotFudge and I change our eating habits just to avoid this one person. Utterly absurd.

Can't BB understand that, as a couple, we might want to be alone sometimes? Will it die just because it has to eat alone? And even if HotFudge weren't there, Ronin wouldn't want to eat with BB. I'd rather eat my lunch alone and doze for awhile than eat with BB. I'd rather have a root canal than eat with BB. I'd rather have a rectal... hmmmmmmmm...

MR. TELEPHONE MAN...

Today, November 7, 2006, is some kind of election day. Did I vote? Yes... by mail-in ballot. Does my vote count? I'd like to think so. Perhaps on the order of .00000000000000000000315%. [Think about the size of a gnat, and compare it to the size of... say... the continent of Asia.] So, is it twisted logic to say that the less people who turn out to vote, the more my vote will count? Or more accurately, the less people who vote the opposite of what I vote, and the more people who vote along with me will help my vote count more...?

-BLAH-

Yesterday, I called in sick because I'd gotten a bad cold over the weekend and wanted one more day to rest. Did I get any? NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........

I don't know what it is about this particular election, but HotFudge and I have been buried with tons of literature (received thru the mail AND e-mail) AND tons of phone calls regarding candidates and propositions. As a result, my day of rest was turned into a day of interruptions by the phone. Now, one of the "jokes" about a ringing phone is that a lot of people feel they need to drop everything and run to the phone. [Perhaps we're moving away from that behavior. I really don't know.] More often than not, what I do is drop everything and run to the phone to "screen" the call. [Gives me a feeling of power, y'know? Just hovering over the phone, listening to the message, and ultimately deciding whether or not to answer the call.] Sometimes the caller will leave a message, sometimes nothing.

But this past weekend and yesterday were horrible. I got tons of recordings embellishing and/or downgrading one candidate or another, or talking for or against certain propositions. Mind you, this wasn't 5 or 6 calls throughout the day. It was 3-4 calls PER HOUR. Needless to say, I did NOT get any rest because the FRIGGIN' phone kept ringing. Now, some might have just taken the phone off the hook or pulled the plug. I've never liked that idea because... what if a true emergency were to occur?

Monday night, the last politically related call came at 8:45 PM. 8:45PM!!!! GEEEEEZ!!!!

And this morning, the first politically related call came at 6:30 AM. 6:30 AM!!!!! GEEEEEEEEEZUUUUS!!!!

-OR-

I could've seen my sick-day as an opportunity to really learn more about the issues and the candidates and the propositions. I could've spoken to the volunteers. I could've read more. I could've debated. I coulda... shoulda... woulda...? NAH!! NYET!! NON!! NO!! HINDI!! NEIN!!

The literature in the mail (and e-mail), I really didn't mind. At least the mail can't cut into my sleep or my rest. But do these people really have to call? I mean... DO THEY REALLY HAVE TO CALL?

What was it about this particular election? Did they get more money to pay more people to participate at phone banks? I can't remember ever being so bombarded by politics...

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Mr. Telephone Man... There's somethin' wrong with my line...

"I just called to say 'I love you'"

"Call me!!"

"Calling all cars... Calling all cars..."

"ate... siks... seben... pive... tree... -OH-... n-aaaah-eeeee-aaaaa-ine..."

26 SECONDS...

6:23PM, SUNDAY, OCTOBER 22, 2006

-RING- -RING- -RING-

Ronin unclipped his cel phone from its holder, flipped it open and looked at the information for the incoming call. He didn't recognize the phone number, but decided to answer it. He pressed the 'SEND" button and brought the phone to his ear.

RONIN: Hello?

INCOMING CALLER: Hello?

RONIN: Hello?

INCOMING CALL: Hello?

RONIN: Helloooooo?

INCOMING (Starting to sound aggressive): Who's this?

RONIN (Composed): Who's this?

INCOMING (Even more aggressive): Who the F--K is this?!

RONIN (Still composed): I think you've got the wrong number. Who were you trying to call?

INCOMING (By now, really aggressive): I was trying to call my girlfriend, FOOL!!

RONIN (Extremely composed): I think you've got the wrong number. What number did you dial?

INCOMING (Trying to sound like a bad ass gangsta type): I dialed THIS number, FOOL!! WHO THE F--K IS THIS?!

RONIN (Extremely unimpressed and no longer amused): Yeah, you've got the wrong number...

Ronin closed the flap on his phone to end the call.

The call lasted 26 seconds according to cel phone record. 26 seconds of my life that I can never get back because of a sorry excuse for a human being. I don't mind wasting my own time, but I can't stand my time being wasted by other people, especially pathetic bullies. 26 seconds down the drain...

By the tone of his voice, I wouldn't be surprised if he beats his girlfriend, is a rapist, or a child molester.

Funny thing... Whatever phone this punkass was calling from, the number wasn't protected. In fact, this is it: 818-653-2051. Can anyone tell me the area code? If it were a local number, I would delight in calling and tormenting this cowardly SOB. I say cowardly because it's so easy to be "brave and fierce" over the phone. [HMMMMMM..... Did I just say I'D call and torment HIM? Guess that makes me a coward, too.]

Did I get angry? Not really. It was more like 'The nerve of this monkey-ass loser...'

Forgiving and forgetting does not come easy to Ronin. [If you believe in God, forgiving is God's job, not mine.] Wishing hateful shit comes much easier. So, to the person who called me:

For taking away 26 seconds of my life... I WISH GANG-RAPE ON YOU, ASSHOLE... I WISH CANCER ON YOU... I WISH AIDS ON YOU...

Too harsh? Not in Ronin's world. In Ronin's world, not ALL life is sacred. Ronin believes there are monsters disguised as humans.

Ronin believes this caller was one such monster...

JELLIED MOOSE NOSE

"Filler". This is what this blog is. This is something that Lotus suggested to me some months ago when I had not blogged in awhile. "You need filler," she told me. I've considered this for some time now. Although I do like to pontificate and write my own rants and raves and topics, sometimes they are far and in between. So in between time and in the meantime, what better way to fill the void than with even more trivial trivia.

So, since Ronin's Rectal is beginning to get "creepy" for Lotus, let this particular (lazy) blog serve as "filler". As for Ronin displaying his rack on the net for all to see, let's wait a few years for the sagging to kick in. Let's wait and see if Ronin's chest starts looking like breasts. [Or do they already?]

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In 1967, the Canadian government published a collection of backwoods recipes from native and non-native peoples in the nation's far north. It's now out-of-print, but here are a few highlights. And if ever you find a copy of The Northern Cookbook, grab it - it's a classic.

MUSKRAT TAILS - Cut off the tails and dip them into very hot water. Pull off the fur. Either cook them on top of the stove, turning them after a few minutes, or boil them. (This is the same method as for beaver tails. Both are very sticky to eat.)

STUFFED MUSKRAT - Clean the rats well and put them in a roaster with bread stuffing on top. Roast until the muskrats are soft.

BOILED PORCUPINE - Make a fire outside and put the porcupine in it to burn off the quills. Wash and clean well. Cut up and boil until done.

GRIZZLY BEAR STEAKS - Cut up meat as for frying and fry in deep grease in frying pan.

BEAR FAT PASTRY - 1-1/2 cups flour, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1/3 cup bear fat (from a little black bear that was eating berries). Makes rich white pastry.

MUKTUK (meat inside skin and fat of a whale) - After taken from whale leave 2 days hanging up to dry. Cut into 6" x 6" pieces. Cook until tender. Keep in a cool place in a 45-gallon drum of oil, in order to have muktuk all year.

OVEN-ROASTED LYNX - Wash and clean the hind legs of the lynx and roast it with lard and a little water.

BOILED LYNX - Cut up the lynx and boil it until it is soft and well cooked. Good to eat with muktuk.

STEAMED MUSKRAT LEGS - Cut off the muskrat's legs, dip in a bowl of flour with salt, pepper, and other strong seasoning. Put grease into a large frying pan. Put in the muskrat legs. Cover and cook for a long time as they take long to become tender. The strong seasoning takes away the actual taste of the muskrat.

BOILED REINDEER HEAD - Skin and wash the head well. Then chop it in quarters, splitting it between the eyes with an axe. Cover with cold water and boil until soft. One can also roast in an open pan in an oven very slowly.

BOILED REINDEER OR CARIBOU HOOFS - Put hoofs (skin still on them) in a large pot. Cover and boil for a couple of hours. The skin will peel off easily. The muscles are soft and very good to eat. The toe nails also have some soft sweet meat inside them.

BOILED SMOKED BEAVER - Smoke the beaver for a day or so. Cut up the meat and boil it with salted water until done.

FROZEN FISH EGGS - Take fish eggs out and freeze them. They are good to eat like this.

BOILED BONE GREASE - Boil whatever bones are left after all the meat has been cut off. Boil them all in a big pot for two hours. Then let the grease get cold in the pot. It is easy to pick the grease off. Keep the grease to eat with dry meat or add to pounded meat.

BOILED REINDEER TONGUES - Boil tongues until thoroughly cooked. Potatoes and vegetables are good with this.

DRY FISH PUDDING - Pound up 5 to 6 dry fish. Throw away skin. Add sugar, a little grease, and cranberries.

JELLIED MOOSE NOSE - Cut the upper jaw bone of the moose just below the eyes. Boil in a large kettle for 45 minutes. Remove and chill. Pull out all the hairs (like plucking a duck) and wash until none remain. Place nose in a kettle and cover with fresh water. Add onion, garlic, spices, and vinegar. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer until meat is tender. Let cool overnight. When cool, discard the bones a cartilage. You will have white meat from the bulb of the nose and dark meat from the bones and jowls. Slice thinly and alternate layers of white and dark meat in a loaf pan. Let cool until jelly has set. Slice and serve cold.

BAKED SKUNK - Clean, skin, wash. Bake in oven with salt and pepper. Tastes like rabbit (no smell).
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SOURCE: Uncle John's Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader by the Bathroom Reader's Institute. [From the section titled "Jellied Moose Nose", pp. 296-297]. ISBN: 1-59223-270-1

I really wish they had colored pictures of this stuff. The stuffed muskrat actually sounds pretty good...