ITALY 2006... LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN...

I've given some thought on how to approach the sharing of the details of our trip to Italy. We were there for about 12 days, and to give an account in one shot would result in a very, very, very, very long blog. At the same time, however, I do not want to give a traditional day-by-day account of our activities.

[In answer to the question: "How was your trip?"... Of course we had a great time. Of course we didn't want to come back. Of course the architecture and ruins we saw were incredible... But there's so much more to share. Did everything go smoothly? No. Did we meet a lot of people? Yes.]

Therefore, I've decided to dole out our activities and experiences in smaller, non-linear "vignettes", which will include insights, prequels, epilogues, a cast of characters, dialogue, pictures, etc...

[Truthfully, I do not believe this series of blogs will really fit the definition of vignette,... I just like the way vignette sounds.]

That being said...

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[It is not my intention to re-ignite or rekindle the debate that ensued several months ago over this instrument. However, I thought it would be a good stepping stone into our tour.]

Oh, you'd like to know if I did it, wouldn't you? Wouldn't YOU? I'm in another country and nobody would know. What happens in Italy stays in Italy, right? And after giving TofU so much support, after applauding his arguments, after ribbing him to no end...

I am ashamed to say that I could not bring myself to try the bidet. Believe me, I struggled with it. I lay awake at nights thinking about missed opportunites. It called to me. Everytime I used the toilet, it called to me... There I was, in another country, in another culture... But I just wasn't open minded enough. [HotFudge wanted no part of it herself.] My chance to experience something new, and I let it go. My sincerest apologies, TofU.

At the beginning of the tour, our tour director, Rosa (our Mother Hen), asked if we knew what a bidet was. Before telling us, she warned us not to put our face in it, or our feet, or our hands, or our food... Turns out, most people already knew what it was for anyway... And then she told us the one thing that took me by surprise. Before, I'd always ASSUMED that you "sit" on a bidet in the same way (and direction) you sit on a toilet. TofU, I must know in what direction you were sitting in, because, according to Rosa, you sit on a bidet FACING the wall. Now, I think I can see this working for a female, but I honestly cannot see how a male could effectively use a bidet while facing the wall. To clean the front, sure. But to clean the arse? To confirm, I asked Mother Hen. She was highly amused. With laughter she said: "Of course you face the wall." I also asked if Europeans think it's disgusting that we do not use bidets. Her response: "No... It's just a different way of doing things..."

Let the tour of Italy begin...