STAR WARS... [2]

Part the Second: The End of an Era... The End of the Saga

Of course I don't mean the Star Wars franchise is at an end. Far from it. I predict there is still much milking to be done, books to be written, cartoons to be animated, etc. etc.

[I have yet to hear a good Star Wars audio book. All the audio books I've heard have been pretty bad. The narrator usually stinks and they put ridiculous sound effects (lasers, light sabres, etc.) in the background that actually detract from the story itself, making it more laughable then anything else. If you want to read some good Star Wars novels, I've always been impressed with Timothy Zahn's stuff.]

For this blog, I am referring to the movies. When Star Wars: A New Hope came out in 1977, I was eight years old. [Has it been that long already?] Imagine that. It's taken nearly 30 years to complete the story. And I'm so very glad it happened during my life. This is kind of a morbid thought, but I wonder, of those who were 40-60 years old back in 1977, how many of them lived to see the final chapter? I recently bought the first Star Wars trilogy on DVD and enjoyed watching them again. The Star Wars saga is one of the very, very, very few things where the magic is still there for me.

I was at the theatre on opening night, May 18, 2005. But I wasn't there to see Revenge of the Sith. I was there to see Kung Fu Hustle for the second time (I thought it was that good). Revenge would begin at 12:01AM. Outside the theatre, there was a massive line. Among the normally dressed people, I saw light sabres, Star Wars shirts, Jedi Knights, laser pistols, etc. Perhaps some of you may think: "Get a life..." or "What a bunch of geeks..." Well, as a Star Wars fan, I guess I'd fall somewhere in the middle, although it's all relative. I'm not so obsessed that I would "camp-out" in front of a box-office for several days just to be the first to get a ticket. At the same time, though, I have seen all the Star Wars movies (except Phantom Menace, YUCK!) a countless number of times.

Excerpt From ScregMan's Moleskine:
12:08AM Thursday, 5/19/05 At AMC... Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith has opened. Waiting for HotFudge. I Just saw Kung Fu Hustle again. 9:55 showing. HotFudge saw Amytiville Horror. The environment is excited with an extreme air of anticipation. People have light sabres, ray guns, Jedi Robes, shirts, helmets. I see 3 security guards. Maintain presence, even though sheer numbers could overwhelm them. Long line earlier. Called TofU. People running, buying concessions. Wouldn't waste time buying concessions. Cheering in the theatres...

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E-Mail to TofU [sent Friday 5/20/05 11:43AM]
Subject: On the Outside Looking In
Greetings TofU,

So you went and saw Revenge of the Sith... I am jealous. I'll try to catch it next week. Based on your text message to me, I'm assuming the excitment and jubilee surrounding Episode 3 was just as strong over there as I witnessed over here. If you will recall the last time we spoke, I was at the...theatres to see Kung Fu Hustle before it leaves the big screen.

ToFu, the excitement, frivolity, and anticipation I observed is/was phenomenal. After Kung Fu Hustle ended, I went out to the lobby. It was packed. I saw fans in Jedi robes, I saw ray guns, I saw light sabres, I saw Star Wars shirts galore. And I must admit, I was jealous. I was on the outside looking in. I wanted to be on the inside looking out. After a few minutes of observation, I realized I should be writing in my Moleskine. I sat down and jotted down some observations and what not. In retrospect, I wish I had made plans to see it on opening night. Events come and go to be sure, but this is the last Star Wars. THE LAST STAR WARS... Instead of waiting (like I always do), I should have plunged into it. There was cheering in the theatres. There was a countdown. People in line at the concession stands were getting annoyed because the line was moving too slowly. Those who had already purchased food were literally running back to their designated theatre. People without food were also running. I wanted to be part of it. I should have been part of it. (I kinda like the Jedi robes myself.)

HotFudge's comment: "Ain't nobody gotta carry on like this."

In defense of all the hoopla, I tried to explain: "You don't understand the whole Star Wars phenomenon. I grew up with Star Wars, and this is the last one. If I had the opportunity, I would've been standing in line..., I'd be in the theatre."

"I grew up with it too," was her response.

"No, there's a distinction," I said. "TofU and I are fans. We've seen Star Wars a gajillion times and can quote and can recognize quotes from the movies. You're just a casual watcher."

HotFudge shook her head.

But it's all relative. I do consider myself a Star Wars fan, but I'm sure a lot of die-hards I saw that night could put me to shame in terms of their knowledge of the Star Wars universe. I wish I had kept the original Star Wars toys from my youth. If memory serves, I had the Millenium Falcon and the X-Wing. Those toys are now long gone...

Anyway, I feel like I've lost the opportunity to experience something, an excitement I've not felt since...

Darth ScregMan stops in midsentence, turns, and quickly leaves the hangar bay, black cape flowing behind him...

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Movies I'm absolutely aching to see:
- Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
- Superman... I saw a trailer and it looks AWESOME!!! [That's the geek in me talkin']

MY HOME... IDEALLY...

[This blog was inspired by Thane of the Universe's "Flat Woe" series...]

I love my home. If I'm true to my declaration of being a "simple life form", then I've already got the "shelter" part (and then some) covered. I've got a home to go home to, and that's good enough for me. Of course, if I had a large chunk of money, I could have built a home to my own personal specifications. Alas, I do not have a big chunk of money. And my hopes of winning the lottery are nil since I don't even play. But if I could make some changes or even make some things standard in a home, this is what I would do...

The Bathroom
Okay... At a very basic level, the bathroom is where you shower or bathe, brush teeth, maybe change, put on make-up, comb the hair, and relieve yourself of things your body deems unnecessary for its survival. However, it is also a place where there's lots of moist things flying around: splashes from the sink, drippings from the shower, a combination of food particles, saliva, and toothpaste from your mouth, splashes from the toilet...

HotFudge and I do not have carpet in our bathrooms. However, we had to pay extra to get tile because it seems carpet is the standard. In our prior home, we paid extra to get vinyl. Why is carpet in the bathroom the standard? [If I had to guess, I'd say it's probably the cheapest thing for the builder.]

Carpet... Full-on carpet... Around the shower... Around the tub... Around the toilet... I don't get it. I will never understand the logic of carpet in the bathroom.

Carpet doesn't strike me as a kind of material that should get wet often. Does it feel good to step out of the shower (dripping wet) onto a carpet? Heck, just use a towel. Having no carpet in the bathroom as the standard would be a step in the right direction. What a bathroom really needs, though, is a drain built directly into the floor. A drain in the floor so that any water, spit, urine, food particles, or whatever have a place to go. I see floor drains in restaurant bathrooms. My aunt's bathroom in Australia had a floor drain. I thought that was really cool. What if your toilet were to overflow? I would rather have a flooded floor as opposed to a flooded carpet [YUCK!!!]. In fact, a floor drain could serve to "protect" any adjacent rooms from flooding. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO... Instead, there's the carpet.

Another item that would be a nice standard would be the removable shower head. You know... that thing you can replace your shower head with so you can remove it, grasp it in your hand(s), and have greater control on how the water hits your body. I know you can go out and buy this and it's probably fairly easy to install, but why not just make it the standard?

TofU, I would like to get your commentary on the next item: the bidet. If you don't know what a bidet is, look it up. I'm not going to describe it or its application here. I've never tried it myself. It seemed to be a standard in Spain. [While in Spain, I joked with HotFudge about asking someone for a demonstration on how to use a bidet.] I do not see myself ever using one or wanting one.

Every Room... Audio
I love listening to music and audio books. Therefore, it would be ideal for me to have speakers built into all the walls of every room. Of course I'd have some kind of control room/panel centrally located to control the output. Do I want my music blaring throughout the home, or just in the kitchen? My set-up would include the ability to attach any player (CD, minidisc, IPOD, etc.).

Counter Productive Kitchen Counter...
I'd want a smooth counter top in the kitchen. I can't stand tiled countertops. Keeping that damned grout clean is a bitch. Even sealing the grout doesn't keep it completely clean. I just don't get it. What are the builders thinking when they give a tiled countertop? Haven't these people ever heard of "form follows function"?

The Two-Story Dilemma...
Thinking way ahead (or maybe not so far ahead anymore) a one-story home would be good. As the years roll by, my ability to run up and down stairs will slowly diminish. Eventually, I won't be able to climb stairs anymore. How sad is that?

Vault Your Ceiling...
No vaulted ceilings for me. An utter waste of space. Just an illusion, meant to put any visitors in awe because they have to look up? Sure, they can look up... at all that wasted space...


At least I do have a roof over my head, and that's enough for me...

NEW YEAR'S EVE - TEST BALLOON...

This is a test balloon...

HotFudge and I will be hosting a New Year's Eve gathering this year. Spread the word, check your schedules, etc., etc. If you don't have any plans, come on over...

I'll send out a more formal invitation probably after Thanksgiving...

STAR WARS...[1]

Part the First: Let The Milking Begin...

I loved Revenge of the Sith. There's no getting around it. I believe I saw it 3-4 times in the theatres. And I also saw it while in Spain. It had been dubbed in Spanish, but that was okay since I already knew what was going on. Even the words that scroll up at the beginning were in Spanish.

On Thursday, November 10, 2005... I broke down and bought Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith.

This is where the milking begins. It is absolutely unconscionable how the release of movies onto DVD plays out, especially if the movie is a blockbuster. And the abuse is so much more apparent with sequels and trilogies. First, release one movie at a time (possibly w/extras [behind-the-scenes, audio commentary, etc.]). After each is released individually (perhaps a year apart from each other), then release some kind of boxed set with even more extras, forcing those who bought the individual movies to wonder what they're missing. I have no doubt this is exactly what the higher-ups will do with this current Star Wars trilogy. I hadn't even thought this far ahead, but a friend of mine suggested (and this wouldn't surprise me) that they'll even release a boxed set containing all six movies, most likely with extras. Ridiculous, imbecile, incorrigible, and unconscionable.

What made me go out and buy the final movie rather than "wait" for the boxed set? This is my reason. I'm not going to watch the extra stuff over and over again. Yes, for the most part, it's enlightening and insightful, but once I've seen it, that's it (at least for me). I have yet to re-watch audio commentary and the like. It is for the movie that I bought the DVD. It is the movie that I will watch again and again. It is not for the extras that I buy DVDs. And Netflix will help me out with that. I saw the Lord of the Rings trilogy in the theatre. Eventually, I will rent the ones with all the extras (UTTERLY RIDICULOUS TO DO THIS TO THE MASSES). And I will do this, too, with the Star Wars saga.

Not Even For the Sake of Completeness...
(Forgive me TofU,) but I cannot bring myself to buy The Phantom Menace. Not even for the sake of completeness. (I have yet to complete my Babylon 5 collection. Ironically, because of Netflix, I don't know if I'll ever watch B5 again.) I know... I know... This really goes against the grain, but I absolutely cannot watch Phantom Menace over and over again. To be honest, I saw it twice on the big screen. The first time, I fell asleep, which is why I went the second time. I just can't fathom what George was thinking when he came up with Jar Jar (and the Ewoks). Sure, Jar Jar was completely CGI, but... WTF. Was he catering to the younger generation by creating such a ridiculously useless character? Was he trying to make the movie more fun for the kids? If that's the case, he really bungled. He should have kept our generation as the target. Do you know how many people groaned in the theatre during Attack of the Clones when Jar Jar made his appearance? BTW, I do own Attack of the Clones. I just love the Yoda-fu, but I CANNOT, WILL NOT, EVER own Phantom Menace.

LET THE MILKING BEGIN, BUT I WILL NEVER, EVER, OWN PHANTOM MENACE...

ON BLOGGING...

PART THE FIRST: At Least I'm Writing...

Blog and blogging

Where did these words come from? How do new words "officially" enter our lexicon while others fall out of usage? The next time I'm in a bookstore, I must remember to look up "blog" in a dictionary.

Years ago, my first reaction to blogging was: "ICK!! OH, PLEASE... Why would I want to put my thoughts, ideas, daily rantings, dreams, pictures, etc. on the web...?" I thought it was kind of silly. I mean, who would want to read anything that I write? Let alone comment? And what would I say? And why would I want to read about other people's personal sh*t?

That was my line of thinking a few years ago...

Call me a lemming, or a lamb being led to the slaughter, but...

On October 20, 2005, I received a small blurb from Thane of the Universe / Tormented Soul, informing me he'd just started a blog. Apparently, he'd been under pressure for some time from friends who'd been blogging for awhile. After I'd read TofU's blog and browsed some random blogs, I started my own.

WOW...my own writing on the web. My own writing for anyone to run across, read, comment on, etc. Other friends have followed suit, and now, it has become another (new) way of keeping tabs on each other. I like that. I have witnessed a reconnection with friends who are not geographically located nearby. I think it's cool to see everybody's different topics and writing styles, the organization of friends' blogs, how they comment, etc. And our coterie seems to have easily assimilated this phenomenon called blogging. In fact, one blog (which was only one sentence long) started with welcoming comments that turned slightly hostile (in a friendly way, of course) when said blogger failed to post something in a timely manner. Most amusing.

At first, I thought I could write something every day, but it became quite clear (as friends add to their own blogs and comment on others) that just reading and responding and checking for new commentary takes a lot of time. A LOT OF TIME. And I want to take the time to read and comment on others' blogs. But I'm hard pressed for material sometimes. The commentary (sometimes witty, sometimes perverted, sometimes insightful, and always eloquent) of my fellow bloggers may crack me up or give me a new perspective.

Tormented soul pointed out that one of the reasons he'd started one and informed me about his blog was for the writing. I thank him for this. I'd like to write creatively someday, but I have yet to come up with my idea... my concept... my story-line. I don't know if I could come up with something truly original. I think everything's been done. So the challenge becomes the presentation of something in a new way. Take the Harry Potter books. Stories of wizards and witches have been around for centuries. The author has taken an old idea and presented it in a new way.

Ah well... at least I'm writing...

AUDIO BOOKS... THE WRITTEN WORD VS THE NARRATED WORD

I LUV AUDIO BOOKS...

For those people on the road a lot, on the plane a lot, or who just don't have the time to sit down and read anymore, I urge you to give the audio book a try (if you have not already done so).

I know audio books have been around for awhile, but I didn't like the medium. I'm talking about cassettes. YUCK. However, now that a lot more books are being released on CD, I've really taken to listening rather than reading.

Audio books are a great diversion from music. We all have our IPODS (or MINIDISCS) filled with our favorite music, but even that gets boring sometimes. Thus, I turn to the audio book. Whether I'm stuck in traffic or shopping at Vons, I've usually got at least one audio book with me. They make housework (cleaning, doing laundry, folding laundry, cooking, etc.) more tolerable. I'm usually listening while I prepare my breakfast in the mornings. However, unless you've got a fairly powerful volume (and quality earphones), listening as you shred paper or vacuum are kind of iffy.

The Narrator / Reader
The narrator is oh so important. It's great if he/she can put some emotion into the reading, some feeling. I've listened to some books where the reader just read. No emotion, no feeling, no nothing. UGH. In fact, I'm trying to get through one right now. I like the premise, but the reader is driving me crazy. I find myself checking the display on my player to see how many more hours are left before the end. I will finish it, though. I WILL. But the narrator has actually detracted from the story. I probably would enjoy the story more if I read it myself. There are probably 2-3 audio books that were done so poorly that I had to stop in the middle. Either they were poorly written to begin with, or the reader crucified the work, or there were weird and idiotic sound effects in the background, or some combination of the previous three. Really, it's up to the narrator to bring the story to life. There are many good readers out there, but the best books I've had the pleasure of listening to are the Harry Potter ones. Absolutely astounding. Jim Dale just doesn't read, HE PERFORMS (credit to kilatzin). If Harry Potter's not your cup of tea, so be it, but you'd be missing out on an incredible performance. Dramatizations are a slightly different flavor, with various characters/voices and such. I enjoy these too, if they're done right. Voices have to be unique, and the names of characters are usually said more often than if it were a visual story. (BTW Mulysa, I think you're a great story-teller)

What's Wrong...
But, as with all things I consider "good" and "worthy" of my attention, there are little things that annoy me. There are things that they're just not doing right. One of the things is recording a CD with 1 (one... ONE...ONE!!!) track that is 70+ minutes long. That is ridiculous. That is utterly imbecile. I mean... COME ON!!! A 70 MINUTE TRACK?!!! On the other side of the spectrum, I've listened to CDs that have 99 tracks. 99 TRACKS!! It is ludicrous to have to search through 99 tracks of audio. And each track is only 30-35 seconds long. HRRMMPH!! I just don't get it. On top of that, I've heard of MP3 files that are 5+ hours long. WTF!!!

What's Right...
Tracking every 3-5 minutes makes it convenient and easy to scan thru.

Reading vs Listening...
Some people look down on audio books, and I don't know why. Obviously, it IS a different experience. You're using different body parts, etc. etc. But the essense of storytelling remains the same. The author has constructed a world for the reader/listener to enter and enjoy. Also, for those who are too high and mighty to listen to a story, let me remind you that before paper and pencil, before the printed word, stories (and legends and myths and knowledge and culture and history) were passed down ORALLY. So please... get off your high horse. Listening and knowing how to listen well are skills that a lot of people think they have, but truly don't.

Abridged vs Unabridged...
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN ABRIDGED VERSIONS. I don't care to do the research, but if someone else knows why there are abridgements, you can enlighten me. For now, I'll just assume that the abridgement is the creation of some idiot(s) who felt maybe a story could do without certain chapters or sections. Perhaps that's true. But who are these people to decide what gets cut? (On another note, it annoys me to no end to watch a movie, and then later find out that there's a "Director's Cut" out there. AAARRRGH!) I can't stand abridgements. I CAN'T STAND ABRIDGEMENTS. Makes me feel like I'm missing something. I don't understand the logic behind abridgements. Are they for people who don't have time to read? Abridgements are usually still pretty thick, so it doesn't make sense. Why don't they let ME be the judge. Why tamper with an author's work? Let the masses be the judge. Let us determine if the story was good or not, if it dragged on too much, if it went off on too many tangents...

ScregMan... The Reader...
ScregMan... The Listener...
Reading has always been an on-and-off thing for me. I'd read for several years, then stop, then get back into it again. Having majored in English, I did my share of reading. [Thank you, Cliff's Notes.] I can remember taking 3-4 English classes per semester and having to speed read through 7-10 rather thick novels in one semester. (Dare I say that entire novels have been read in the bathroom [that one's for you, mulysa].)

But sitting down and reading for 1/2 hour or one hour has become more and more difficult. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did read for 1/2 - 1 hour. Maybe I'm just tired or I'd rather be doing other things. Sure, there are 24 hours in a day. Sure, if I can find time to brush my teeth every night, then I should be able to find time to read. All those great people, those great leaders, those inventors, those writers, those painters... they all had 24 hrs a day just like we do. Rather than watch 1/2 hour of TV, I suppose I could read instead. [But I've got so many movies in my Netflix queue...]

I've thought about this for awhile, and the earliest audio story I can remember came from a cassette I'd checked out (years ago) from the library. It was a ghost story... one of those "Things That Go Bump In The Night" deals. Don't even remember the whole story. Something about a creature attacking people. At one point, a man is struggling in the dark with this creature. When he finally subdues it and turns on the lights, he beholds... NOTHING... Eventually, they encase the creature in something like cement in order to determine its shape, etc. Of course, it dies in the process. They determine it to be a goon. Humanoid, but feeding on human flesh. Anyway, that's my earliest recollection of an audio book.

During my Spain trip earlier this year, I'd brought several audio books. Ironically, I found it hard to listen to them. On the plane or on a bus, I'd drift off (sometimes to sleep) and find that several chapters had gone by. So, for the most part, I just listened to music.

I went through a Stephen King phase years ago. If you ever want to read just one of his stories, I recommend The Stand. And don't rely on the TV adaptation, read the damn book. Went through a Star Wars phase. Have read the Chronicles of Narnia 3-4x. Currently re-reading my comic books from years ago. I'm also slowly making my way through a Sociology textbook.

I'll read or listen to just about anything: horror, sci-fi, fantasy, biography, history...

For now, though, it is the audio book that takes precedence...

[linestepper... once I see your list on-line, rest assured I'll be hitting you up for more listening material...]